so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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