im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
