i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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