It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
