I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
