hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
