Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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