having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
