i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I could fuck to npr.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
