her vagine was all disorganized.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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