He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
