My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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