Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
