He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
