How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
