38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
3 2 1 whiskey
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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