Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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