If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize