Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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