Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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