Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
