No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My dick has a subreddit
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
tell me about the fingering
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