So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
