Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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