I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
