I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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