Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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