No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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