my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
