Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
