Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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