Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
