i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
