I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
