omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
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