yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
