my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
