Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize