i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
