what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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