Kiss
Puke
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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