If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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