that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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