apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
