I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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