The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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