found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
