just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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