it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my poor anus
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
