our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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