so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize