Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize