Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
