you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
