We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was like eating out sand paper
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
