Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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