My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
