Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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