Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
